A Time to Love
by SVUfan18
Summary: Calvin's mom is caught up in a drug deal gone bad. Elliot and Olivia step in to help him pick up the pieces.
1. Chapter 1

**A Time to Love**

_Author's Note: Elliot and Olivia live together. The kids ages: Eli 4, Calvin 10, Dickie & Lizzie 12, Maureen & Kathleen are away at college. Calvin is a little bit younger here than he was on the show._

* * *

**Chapter 1**

Elliot was just getting ready to pack it in for the day. It was Friday night and he was ready to go home. It had been a long week. Olivia had been in California for the better part of the week helping the locals close a case that was related to one of theirs. She was expected back in New York the following Wednesday. Elliot wasn't looking forward to a lonely weekend without her but he couldn't wait to get out of the precinct. Things weren't the same when his partner wasn't there with him.

"Elliot, can I see you in my office please?" Cragen's voice was gentle.

_Please don't have another case, _Elliot thought as he rose from his chair. _I'm tired._ _I just want to go home!_

"It's Vivian," Cragen said after Elliot had closed the door behind him. "She was attacked tonight, they think it's drug related."

"Was she raped?" Elliot asked.

"No," Cragen said, "but they requested you and Olivia. That's all I know. Do you want me to send Munch with you?"

"No Captain, I'll call in once I know what we've got," Elliot said.

* * *

"She didn't make it detective." A younger, muscular man extended his hand to Elliot when he entered the hospital emergency room. "Brady Pratt, narcotics detective."

Elliot shook his hand. "What happened?"

"Patrol found her in an alley in Hell's Kitchen. Appears to be a drug deal gone bad. She really took a beating, died a little while ago."

Elliot looked at the young detective for a moment, wondering why he was called in. Sure, he and Olivia had worked with Vivian in the past but there was no reason he could think of for their presence to be requested for a drug related crime.

"Why'd you call us in?" Elliot asked. He didn't mean to be so blunt but it was getting late and he really wanted to get home.

"Is you partner coming?" Pratt asked looking over Elliot's shoulder.

"No, Liv's in California this week wrapping up a case." Elliot tried to smile at the detective but his patience was growing thin.

Detective Pratt pulled a folded up piece of paper out of his back pocket and handed it to Elliot. Elliot read over the paper, and then read it again. His mood softened. Vivian had made Olivia Calvin's legal guardian should anything happen to her. Elliot didn't even know Calvin was in the city. The last he and Olivia had heard from him was when he was taken away and put under the care of his grandparents.

"I uh, I didn't even know Calvin was in New York," Elliot said, almost in shock as he continued to stare at the paper.

"He witnessed the whole thing," Pratt informed him.

"Is he hurt?"

"Not a mark on him," Pratt answered. "Should I call CPS to come get him until your partner is back in town?"

"No," Elliot said. "I'll take him." He didn't bother explaining that he and Olivia lived together. "Where is he?"

Elliot was taken to the ER room Vivian was in. Calvin was lying on the bed next to Vivian's lifeless body, hugging her. He walked over and put his hand on Calvin's back. Calvin looked up at him with a blank expression on his face.

"I'm so sorry Calvin," Elliot said.

"Detective, we have to take the body now. I'm sorry. We really need the room." Elliot nodded at the nurse.

"We have to go now Calvin," Elliot said gently.

"No. I can't go," Calvin replied, "I can't leave her."

Elliot patted Calvin's back and tried to get him to hop off the bed but he tensed up his body and refused to move.

"Come on Buddy," Elliot said. When Calvin didn't budge Elliot lifted him up stood him on the floor in front of him. He crossed his hands over Calvin's chest while they watched the nurse cover Vivian with a sheet and wheel her out of the room. Calvin tried to escape Elliot's grasp when his mother was wheeled by.

"No! Let me go! Mom! Momma!" Calvin screamed reaching out towards her. After the nurse had gone Calvin started crying and his body went limp in Elliot's arms. Elliot lifted him up and carried him out to the car.

/

"Do you want to talk about it?" Elliot asked in the car. Calvin shook his head. He stared straight ahead out the windshield not making a sound.

"Olivia is in California right now," Elliot told him. "She'll be back in a few days."

"Is she mad at me?" Calvin asked.

Elliot furrowed his brow, confused by Calvin's question. "She's not mad at you Calvin. Why would you think that?"

"She never came to find me." Calvin sounded hurt.

"Oh Calvin," Elliot hesitated, "she _never_ stopped loving you." Calvin was only 10 and he didn't understand all the legal drama surrounding his custody issues but Elliot hoped to God he understood how much Olivia loved him.

"What's gonna happen to me now?" Calvin asked nervously.

"Well, you're going to come live with us, with me and Olivia." Elliot reached over and gently squeezed Calvin's arm.

* * *

_Author's Note: Next—Elliot calls Olivia and gives her the news. Thanks for reading!_


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Elliot pulled up in front of the precinct hoping Cragen hadn't left yet. He contemplated taking Calvin home and just calling Cragen but decided to stop by the precinct on his way home instead. He didn't want to talk in front of Calvin and it would be easier to have Munch keep him occupied at the station then trying to find a private place at the apartment to talk.

Calvin grabbed onto Elliot's hand as Elliot hurried towards the building. Elliot slowed down realizing Calvin probably couldn't keep up with his pace. He made it up to the squad room and saw Cragen still in his office.

"Captain," Elliot called out. "I need a minute." Cragen looked up at Elliot and then at Calvin and nodded. Elliot looked around squad room and saw Munch over by the coffee pot.

"John, I need a favor."

"Anything," John said, not looking away from his coffee. "What can I do for you my friend?" He looked up and was surprised to see Calvin standing there holding Elliot's hand.

"Will you keep an eye on him while I talk to Cragen?" Elliot asked.

"No problem," Munch replied. He could tell Elliot was a little rattled and it looked like Calvin had been crying. Whatever was going on, Munch guessed it wasn't good.

"You're leaving me?" Calvin asked in a panic. He grasped Elliot's hand tighter and his eyes got big.

"It's ok. I just have to go talk to my boss for a minute," Elliot said. "I'll be right in there; you'll be able to see me the whole time. Ok?"

Detective Munch didn't give Calvin time to argue with Elliot. He led him over to his desk freeing Elliot to talk to the captain.

"Vivian's dead," Elliot said after he had closed Cragen's door. Cragen waited for Elliot to explain. "Somebody beat her to death in an alley. Narcotics thinks it's drug related."

"And the kid?" Cragen asked. "When did he get back in town?"

"Your guess is as good as mine Captain. I thought he was still in Vermont with his grandparents." Elliot pulled out the paper Detective Pratt had given to him at the hospital and handed it to Cragen. "Vivian left custody of Calvin to Liv," he said when Cragen finished reading.

Cragen wasn't quite sure what to say or where to start. "Have you talked to Liv yet?"

"No, I didn't want to do it in front of him," Elliot said, turning around to look at Calvin. He saw Calvin sitting at Munch's desk, nervously watching him through the window.

"What do you think about all this?" Cragen asked.

"I don't know Captain," Elliot said. "I mean, I still can't believe all this is happening but you know..." Elliot's sentence trailed off as he looked out the window again.

"Why don't you go ahead and call Liv?" Cragen suggested. "I'll give you some privacy." Elliot nodded his head.

Elliot called Olivia and filled her in on what was going on. Her first instinct was to race to the airport and hop on the first plane back to New York but Elliot persuaded her to wait until her work in California was done. As much as he wanted her home, he didn't want her to have to turn around and leave again as soon as she arrived. Olivia decided to call the ADA on the case she was working to see if she could speed up the process and leave sooner. She didn't have much hope considering it was the weekend but she had to try.

"Can I talk to him?" Olivia asked.

"Yah, hang on a second," Elliot said. He walked out to the squad room and handed Calvin his phone. "It's Olivia." Elliot leaned against the desk while Calvin was on the phone with Olivia. He looked at Cragen, then over at John before rubbing his eyes. His thoughts were racing; he was trying to make sense of everything that was happening. _Just breath Elliot,_ he told himself. He was lost in his thoughts when he heard Calvin start to cry.

"My mom is dead." Calvin started sobbing into the phone.

Elliot took the phone and put it on speaker. "Hang on Liv," he said. He laid the phone on the desk, knelt down and wrapped his arms around Calvin who had begun crying so hard he could barely breathe.

"Shh. It's ok. Everything's gonna be ok." Elliot did his best to soothe Calvin.

"Liv, I'm gonna have to let you go," Elliot said. "I'm sorry."

"Ok El," Olivia said. "I love you."

"I love you too Baby." Elliot hated to cut their call short like that. He knew Olivia was worried. If he was honest with himself he would have to admit he was worried too. He and Olivia were now the primary caregivers for a traumatized 10 year old.

"I love you Calvin," Olivia said. "Please call me later if you can Elliot."

"I will. Bye Liv."

"Bye El."

Elliot took his phone off the desk, snapped it shut, and clipped it back to his belt, while he held Calvin with his other arm. He patted Calvin's back and gently swayed him back and forth until he had calmed down enough he could breathe normally. He raised his eyebrows and looked from Cragen to Munch. "We're gonna go," he told them. He grabbed a handful of tissues from the box on the desk; he handed a couple to Calvin and put the rest in his pocket.

"Are you ready?" Elliot asked Calvin.

Calvin nodded at Elliot with tears still streaming down his face. He grabbed Elliot's hand and they headed towards the elevator.

"Elliot," Cragen called before they reached the door. Elliot turned around and looked at him. "If you need some time..." Cragen let his sentence trail off.

Elliot nodded his head. "Thanks Captain. I'll call you."

* * *

_Author's Note: Next—Getting Calvin settled in and another phone call with Olivia._


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Elliot was surprised at how easily Calvin fell asleep. He wasn't sure if he was worn out from the stress of the days events or if he was simply exhausted from crying so hard but he was pleased none-the-less. He left Calvin sleeping on the couch while he put fresh sheets on Dickie's bed. After he put Calvin to bed, he decided to call Olivia back.

"How is he?" Olivia asked as soon as she answered the phone. Elliot could hear the tension in her voice. He hated that she was so far away.

"He's hanging in there," Elliot answered. "I couldn't get him to eat anything. He's sleeping right now, fell asleep watching cartoons."

"How are you doing El?" Olivia asked, concerned.

"I'm fine Liv."

"You sound tired."

"I'm a little tired," Elliot confessed, "but I'm fine, really." He really didn't want to add to Olivia's stress any. He had raised five kids, he was confident in his ability to take care of Calvin.

"Well, I talked to the ADA here and she's going to put me on the stand first thing Monday morning. I was able to get a nonstop flight Monday evening. I leave here at 4:30 in the afternoon and arrive at JFK shortly before 1:00am Tuesday morning."

Elliot let out a deep sigh of relief. "That's great Liv. I can't wait till you get home."

"Me either. I miss you so much." Olivia paused briefly. She knew she had to change the topic before the tears came. The stress of being away from Elliot all week was already weighing on her and now Calvin needed her but she couldn't get to him. "What happened to Vivian?" she asked.

"Patrol found her in Hell's Kitchen, somebody beat her pretty bad. She died in the hospital. They think it was drug related. I guess Calvin witnessed the whole thing but he won't talk about it."

"That's horrible," Olivia's voice cracked.

"Liv? Are you ok?"

"Calvin needs me and I can't be there for him," Olivia cried.

"It's ok Liv. We're ok. I'll take really good care of him. I promise." Elliot wished he could hold Olivia in his arms and kiss away her tears. For a brief moment he contemplated hopping on a plane to California to be with her but he knew how unreasonable that was.

"I'm sorry El. I'm just really tired and stressed."

"I know Baby. Why don't you take a hot bath and try to relax a little bit," Elliot suggested.

"That's a good idea. I love you Elliot."

"I love you too Liv. We'll call you tomorrow."

Elliot looked at the clock hanging on the wall. 1:00am. Bedtime. He made his way down the hall and peeked his head in Calvin's room. Calvin was still asleep. He got the nightlight out of Eli's room and plugged it in in the hall in case Calvin got up during the night. Then he stretched out in his bed and let his muscles relax for the first time that day.

Elliot woke with a start when he heard someone moving around in his room. "Calvin." Elliot looked at his clock. 2:34.

"Can I lay down with you?" Calvin asked.

"Yah Buddy. Come here," Elliot scooted towards the middle of the bed and lifted the covers up for Calvin to crawl under. He stroked Calvin's hair until he fell back asleep.

* * *

Elliot woke up at 8:00 on Saturday morning. Calvin was already awake, sitting on the couch watching cartoons.

"Good morning," Elliot said cheerfully. He sat down next to him and put his feet up on the coffee table. "How ya doing?"

"I want my Mom," Calvin said sadly.

"I know Buddy." Elliot put his arm around Calvin and hugged him. He kissed the top of Calvin's head. He sat with him and watched cartoons for a little while. When he was sure Calvin was ok he went to the kitchen and put on a pot of coffee.

"What do you want for breakfast?" Elliot asked while his coffee was brewing.

"I'm not hungry," Calvin answered.

Elliot knelt down and looked Calvin in the eyes. "I really need you to try to eat something for me," he said gently.

Calvin thought for a minute. "Can I have a banana?" he finally asked.

Elliot smiled and nodded at him. "It's a start."

Elliot spent the better part of the day shopping for clothes and other necessities for Calvin. It took him awhile since he wasn't usually in charge of that kind of stuff but Calvin only had the clothes he was wearing so it couldn't wait until Olivia returned home. When they got home Elliot put a movie in for Calvin so he could call Olivia.

"Hello?" Olivia answered.

"Hi Baby," Elliot said. "How are you?"

"I'm going crazy here El," Olivia said. "I have two days with nothing to do all so I can hang around to testify on Monday. I just want to come home," she paused. "How are you guys doing?"

Elliot smiled. He wanted Olivia home too. "Well, we spent pretty much all day out shopping. Calvin didn't have anything so it took a little while. I hope I got all the right things."

"I'm sure you did fine," Olivia encouraged. "How is he?"

"It's hard to tell," Elliot said. "I guess I've kept him busy all day so he probably hasn't had too much time to think about anything."

"Is he eating?"

"He had a banana for breakfast and a couple chicken nuggets for lunch. It took some persuading but he's eating a little bit. Speaking of that, I should start thinking about dinner. What should I make him? What does he like to eat?" Elliot asked.

"When he lived with me we ate a lot of chicken nuggets, hot dogs, pizza, macaroni and cheese and stuff like that. Things I could cook. Other than that we had takeout. He's a good eater, he's not picky. I'm sure he'll like whatever you come up with."

"Thanks," Elliot said. "Do you want to talk to him?"

"That'd be great," Olivia said, smiling.

"Calvin, Olivia's on the phone. She wants to talk to you." Elliot handed Calvin his cell phone.

"Olivia?"

"Hi Sweetheart. How are you?"

"I'm ok," Calvin answered.

"Did you have a good day with Elliot?" Olivia tried to avoid the topic of his mother; she didn't want to get him crying again.

"Yah!" Calvin said, excited. "I got some new clothes, and shoes, and I got some drawing stuff. And I got a new jacket. But Elliot forgot to get me a toothbrush."

Olivia laughed. "That's exciting!" she said, matching his tone. "You know what? There's a brand new toothbrush in the medicine cabinet in the bathroom. You tell Elliot and he'll get it for you."

"Are you coming home soon?" Calvin asked.

"As soon as I can Honey," Olivia answered. "I'll be home _really_ late on Monday night. Elliot is going to bring you to the airport to pick me up. I can't wait to see you."

"Ok," Calvin said smiling.

"I love you Calvin," Olivia said. "I'll talk to you again really soon."

"Bye Olivia."

"Bye Sweetie."

* * *

_Author's Note: Next—Olivia comes home; Calvin remembers..._


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Elliot and Calvin arrived at the airport at 12:30 Tuesday morning. Olivia was scheduled to land shortly before 1:00. Elliot had given Calvin mountain dew with his dinner in hopes that the caffeine would help him stay awake but he could tell Calvin was fading fast. He checked Olivia's arrival time on the TV screens then walked around the terminal until her plane had landed. He was afraid if they sat down Calvin would fall asleep. He wanted Calvin to be awake when Olivia arrived. When Calvin saw Olivia he let go of Elliot's hand and raced into her arms. Olivia picked him up and gave him a long hug and kissed his forehead.

"I'm so happy to be home," Olivia said. She gave Calvin another tight hug before putting him down.

"We're glad you're home too," Elliot said smiling. He hugged Olivia and gave her a quick peck on the lips before they headed for the baggage claim.

By the time they arrived back at their apartment Calvin was sound asleep in the back of the car.

"Leave your luggage," Elliot said. "I'll come back for it after I take Calvin up."

"That's sweet El but I can get it," Olivia said. Elliot smiled at her and kissed her before he got Calvin out of the car.

/

It was late and both Elliot and Olivia were tired but they were looking forward to spending some time together before bed. After they tucked Calvin into bed Elliot poured Olivia a glass of wine and grabbed a beer for himself out of the refrigerator. He handed Olivia the wine and sat down next to her on the couch.

"How was your day?" Elliot hadn't talked to her since Sunday. She had been busy in court all day on Monday then raced to the airport to catch her flight.

"Long," Olivia moaned. "I'm glad it's over. What did you guys do today?"

"Nothing too exciting," Elliot said. He put his arm around Olivia. "We hung out around here this morning. I took Calvin down to the precinct this afternoon. He entertained Munch while I worked on some paperwork. Then we had dinner, and hung out around here until we picked you up." Elliot looked over at Olivia and smiled.

Olivia leaned over and kissed Elliot. "Thanks El. I really appreciate you taking care of everything while I was gone."

Elliot rubbed Olivia's shoulder. "Happy to do it."

"I'm so glad you're here with me," Olivia said. "I can't imagine doing this alone."

"You don't have to," Elliot promised her.

Olivia cuddled into Elliot. They sat finishing their drinks, each lost in their own thoughts before heading to bed.

"Oh," Elliot said, "I should warn you. Calvin's been sleeping in our bed, so don't be surprised if he wanders in here in the middle of the night."

"It is the middle of the night," Olivia said. She slipped under the covers next to Elliot, happy to be in her own bed again and even happier to be next to the love of her life.

"Well he was only asleep for about an hour on Friday night before he was in here."

"What about Saturday and Sunday night?" Olivia asked.

Elliot was quiet for a moment. "I just let him go to sleep in here. I know you're supposed to make kids sleep in their own beds but..."

"You're such a pushover," Olivia teased.

"He just lost his mother. How could I say no to him," Elliot smiled.

"I know." Olivia rubbed his chest. "You did great Honey. Thank you."

* * *

Elliot received a call from Detective Pratt early Thursday afternoon. He had a suspect and needed Calvin to come in and pick him out of a line-up. Elliot and Olivia went together with Calvin. Pratt's ADA reluctantly agreed to let only one of them go in with him when he did the ID. They decided Olivia would go.

"Do you see the man who hurt you Mom Calvin?" Pratt asked.

Calvin looked up at Olivia. She smiled at him but knew she couldn't say anything. Calvin looked through the one-way mirror and studied each of the men. He started squeezing Olivia's hand tighter and tighter.

"What number is he holding?" Pratt asked, seeing Calvin was getting agitated.

"Number 3," Calvin answered. Olivia could hear his breathing speed up and feel his hands getting sweaty. She took him outside the door where Elliot was waiting.

"Are you ok Honey?" she asked.

Tears started coming out of Calvin's eyes but he wasn't crying. Beads of sweat were forming on his brow. "I... can't... breathe..." Calvin struggled to get the words out. He grabbed his chest and fell to his knees then doubled over.

"Elliot!" Olivia shrieked. They both knelt on the floor next to him.

Elliot put his hand on Calvin's back and could feel his heart racing. "I think he's having a panic attack," Elliot said calmly, not wanting to scare Calvin. Elliot rubbed Calvin's back with firm, slow motions. "It's ok Calvin. It'll pass. Just breathe," he soothed.

Olivia rested her hand on Calvin's shoulder as she watched in horror. She couldn't remember ever seeing such a young child have a panic attack.

"Is he gonna be ok?" Pratt asked. Elliot smiled and nodded his head in appreciation for the detectives concern.

When the panic attack was over Calvin started crying. Olivia wrapped her arms around him and let him cry on her shoulder.

"It's ok Calvin. You're safe. We're right here with you," Olivia whispered to him. "I got you." She gently rocked him back and forth until he had calmed down.

/

Seeing the man who beat his mother to death triggered Calvin's memory. During the car ride home Calvin recounted some of what had happened in the alley the previous Friday afternoon. Elliot continued driving around while Calvin talked, not wanting to interrupt him. Olivia sat in the back seat and gave him her undivided attention. She was pleased he was talking about what happened. She knew it wasn't healthy for him to keep it all bottled up inside.

* * *

_Author's Note: Next—Vivian's funeral, Elliot's weekend with his kids..._


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Vivian's funeral was late Friday morning. It was going to be a small service at the funeral home. Vivian didn't have any family except Calvin. Cragen, Munch and Fin had planned on attending to support Calvin. Dr. Huang promised to attend as long as he could get away from work.

Elliot helped Calvin get his shirt tucked into his pants, then tied his tie for him. Olivia had gone the day before and bought him a nice suit to wear to the funeral. Elliot and Calvin were wearing similar black suits with white dress shirts. Olivia had chosen the black dress she had worn to her own mother's funeral.

They arrived at the funeral home a little early to give Calvin a last chance to say good-bye. When Cragen, Munch, Fin, and Huang arrived the service started. Calvin sat quietly between Elliot and Olivia, holding Elliot's hand. Olivia's arm was resting on the back of Calvin's chair while she rubbed his back. After the service the small group went out to lunch at an Italian diner near the funeral home.

/

It was Elliot's weekend with his kids. Kathy dropped Dickie, Lizzie, and Eli off at Elliot and Olivia's apartment around 4:00 that afternoon. Elliot introduced the kids to each other. Dickie was thrilled at the idea of having another brother to play with. Eli was too young to share any of the same interests but Calvin was only two years younger than him. Right away Dickie invited Calvin to play video games with him.

Elliot got out Eli's wooden train set and let him and Lizzie build different designs with the track. The train set was one of Eli's favorite toys and Lizzie loved building things. She would build entire towns out of blocks. Whenever they went to the beach she always built numerous sandcastles, all with complex designs. She reminded Elliot of himself when he was a child and would spend all day building things with his blocks and other toys.

Maureen and Kathleen came over for dinner that night. Elliot and Olivia gave each of the girls a hug and a kiss. They loved having the whole family together.

"Dinner's ready!" Elliot called from the kitchen. By the time the kids all got washed up, he and Olivia had the table set and dinner on the table.

"Mmm, hamburgers," Dickie said, approving of the meal.

Olivia helped Eli make his burger and put some macaroni and cheese on his plate for him. About half way through their meal Elliot saw Calvin freeze.

"Calvin, Buddy, are you ok?" Elliot asked.

Calvin dropped his half eaten burger on his plate. He grabbed at his chest and started gasping for air.

"Are you choking?" Olivia asked as she and Elliot raced to his side. Calvin shook his head. Tears were overflowing from eyes and he started sweating. The other children watched in horror.

"It's ok Calvin. Breathe through it. It's ok," Olivia soothed while Elliot rubbed his back.

"What's wrong with Calvin?" Dickie asked. He stood from his chair to go over to Calvin but Elliot asked him to sit back down.

"It's ok guys," Elliot said. He wasn't quite sure how to explain this to his children. "Calvin's not feeling good right now," he explained.

Elliot knew a trip to the hospital was in order. He and Olivia had talked about it the previous day after Calvin had a panic attack and agreed if it continued they'd take him to the doctor. At that time on a Friday night Elliot knew they were headed for the Emergency Room.

When Calvin's panic attack passed he was embarrassed about making a scene in front of the other children and scared about what had happened. Olivia took him into the living room and sat with him.

"Maureen, Kathleen will you guys come here please?" Elliot asked. He led them into the kitchen, out of earshot of the younger kids. "Girls, I need you to stay here with Dickie, Lizzie, and Eli while Liv and I take Calvin to the doctor. Ok?"

"Ok Daddy," Kathleen said.

"What's wrong with him?" Maureen asked.

"It's just a panic attack," Elliot explained. "It's nothing too serious, just stressful and scary."

"We'll be fine here Dad," Maureen assured him.

Elliot nodded his head. "Thank you girls. Call me on my cell if you need anything."

/

Elliot and Olivia were relieved to find the psych doctor on duty was one they worked with often when they came to interview rape victims. They explained to her that Calvin had witnessed his mother's murder and what symptoms he was showing.

"The racing heart, difficulty breathing, sweating and chest pains sound like panic attacks," the doctor told them outside Calvin's room. "And it's definitely understandable considering what he's been through. He might even develop PTSD," the doctor said. "I'm going to do some blood work just to make sure it's nothing more serious."

"What do we do?" Olivia asked.

"I recommend counseling to help him cope, and work through his anxieties. If that doesn't seem to help then there's drug therapy. I'm going to give you a list of psychiatrists. They'll work with him and decide what's best at this point."

"What are we looking at long term here Doc?" Elliot asked.

"Well children are incredibly fragile but also incredibly resilient. Only time will tell," the doctor answered. "There are a couple things that might help until you can get him an appointment. Have him start keeping a journal. It will help him process and express his feelings. Another thing you can do is deep breathing exercises. When people are stressed and anxious they tend to hold their breath. Taking deep breaths tells the body it can relax; it will slow his heart rate and help to calm him."

"Thank you doctor," Olivia said.

"No problem guys. Good luck! Let me know if there's anything I can do." The doctor handed them a referral sheet and a list of therapists, smiled and shook their hands before heading off to her next case.

After the nurse took Calvin's blood they returned home. When they got there they found the kids in the living room watching TV. It was past Eli's bedtime so Elliot put him to bed. When he returned to the living room he saw Olivia was missing. He found her in their bedroom.

"Hey," he said quietly. "What's going on?"

"I scared Elliot," Olivia said. "I don't want to mess up. I just don't know what to do," she struggled to explain her feelings to Elliot. Elliot closed their door and relaxed on the bed next to her. "We work with people everyday who go through horrible things but I've never lived with someone who's struggling like this. I feel so helpless. I just want to make sure we do everything right."

Elliot put his arm around Olivia's shoulders and hugged her. She could hear him breathing heavily as he kissed the top of her head. Elliot was trying to process everything that was happening too.

"I'm scared too Liv," Elliot said. "We're gonna get some help. Everything is going to turn out fine." Elliot gently squeezed the back of Olivia's neck. He could feel how tense she was. "We just gotta keep loving him, and be there for him. This will all work out."

"I'm trying to be strong for him," Olivia said weakly.

"I know you are and you're doing great," Elliot pulled her close to him and kissed her temple. "But you don't have to be strong all the time Liv. It's ok for you to let go."

Olivia took a deep, calming breath. Elliot pulled her head over onto his shoulder and rubbed her back.

* * *

_Author's Note: Next—Calvin returns to school where he gets an unexpected visitor..._


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Elliot was the first one up on Monday morning. The weekend had flown by. Calvin was shy and withdrawn at first but by the end of the weekend he was starting to open up to Elliot's kids. After Elliot showered he got Dickie up, expecting him to be the hardest, then he got Lizzie up, then Eli, and last he woke Calvin up. Maureen and Kathleen had decided to share a room when they stayed over at their father's house so Calvin could have his own room. Elliot spent the previous week turning it from a pink girly bedroom to a neutral toned boys room. He still had some finishing touches to add but he was proud of what he had accomplished so far. Calvin had spent the night in their room again but when Elliot woke up he put him in his own bed so he would sleep a little bit longer.

Elliot went back to his room to wake Olivia up but she was already up and in the shower. He grabbed a pair of dress pants from his closet and changed into them from his NYPD sweatpants. He pulled on his undershirt and hurried into the kitchen to make sure the kids were eating breakfast. The Monday mornings when Elliot had his kids were always hectic, trying to get everyone dressed and fed and out the door, but Elliot loved it. He regretted not getting to spend more time with his kids. Every other weekend just wasn't enough.

"Did you start their lunches yet?" Olivia asked as she hurried into the kitchen.

"No, not yet," Elliot said. He leaned in and gave Olivia a quick kiss. "I still need to iron my shirt."

"Ok, you do that, I'll do lunches," Olivia said.

"Do you need anything ironed?" Elliot called as he headed towards the hall.

"No, but thank you Honey," Olivia said.

Elliot and Olivia dropped Eli off at preschool then dropped Dickie and Lizzie off at their middle school and dropped Calvin off at his elementary school last.

"Ok Honey, we're here." Olivia was standing outside the car in front of Calvin's school. "You have a good day. Elliot and I will be back to pick you up when school is over. Ok?"

"What if you don't come back?" Calvin asked.

"We'll come back Calvin. I promise, when school is out, we'll be right here waiting for you."

"But what if you die," Calvin asked quietly.

Olivia was a little surprised at Calvin's question. "We're not gonna die. We'll be back Sweetheart. Don't worry." Olivia gave Calvin a hug and kissed the top of his head and watched as he disappeared into the school building.

"He'll be ok Liv," Elliot said. They were nearing the precinct and Olivia hadn't said a word since they dropped Calvin off. Elliot knew she was worried.

"Huh? Oh... I know," Olivia said, snapping out of her trance. "He's worried we're going to die."

"He's still trying to process everything," Elliot said as he reached over to hold her hand. "It's going to take time."

Elliot pulled into an empty parking spot and he and Olivia headed into the precinct. Their morning started off slow. Elliot was a little antsy to catch a case. He had been stuck in the squad room the previous week since he had Calvin. Olivia welcomed the slow start to the day. She wasn't quite ready to jump in with both feet yet.

"Hi guys," Huang said, walking over to Elliot and Olivia's desks. "How is everything going with Calvin?"

"I think he's starting to break down a little bit," Olivia said. "He's having panic attacks, he sleeps in our bed, he's very clingy, he's always on high alert; we're going to call today and schedule an appointment for him with a psychiatrist."

"It sounds like he's struggling to cope with the trauma," Huang said. "Therapy will help him work through it."

"The ER doctor mentioned PTSD," Olivia said. "What do you think?"

"It's possible," Huang answered. "Anyone who experiences something that traumatic could develop PTSD. Difficulty sleeping, the panic attacks, and the hyper-arousal are symptoms of PTSD. He's clingy because his mother disappeared suddenly, without any warning. He's subconsciously trying to prevent a repeat of that by losing either of you. His therapist should be able to help him overcome all that in time. He might prescribe some meds to help as well."

"Thanks Doc," Elliot said. He didn't always agree with Huang but most of their arguments were centered around sex offenders. He was grateful the doctor had taken the time to give them his opinion.

/

Elliot and Olivia were on their way back to the precinct after lunch when Olivia's phone rang.

"Benson," she chimed, while laughing at one of Elliot's jokes.

"Detective, this is Principal Gibb, at Calvin's school."

"What happened?" Olivia cut in. "Is he ok?" She put the phone on speaker so Elliot could hear too.

"He's ok now. The man who killed his mother showed up at the school today while he was out at recess. He tried to call Calvin over to the fence but I was able to get to him first. I think you should probably come and get him. He's pretty shaken up."

"We're already on our way, we'll be there in about 10 minutes," Olivia said.

They pulled up in front of Calvin's school and saw four marked police cruisers parked out front. They raced inside the building and found Calvin waiting with Detective Pratt. As soon as Calvin saw them he raced into their arms.

"Are you ok?" Olivia asked. She knelt down to Calvin's eye level and brushed his hair out of his eyes. Calvin stared back at her with big eyes and a terrified look on his face but didn't answer.

"Perp was out on bail, he somehow tracked Calvin here," Pratt said. "The principal said he was shouting death threats as he took off running. Patrol is out canvassing now but so far we've come up empty."

"How long has he been in the wind?" Elliot asked Pratt. He ruffled Calvin's hair, trying to reassure him.

Pratt glanced at his watch. "About a half an hour now. I can arrange for a protective detail until we get this cleared up," he offered.

"Um, no, I don't think so," Elliot said after he thought for a moment. He didn't have anything against Pratt or his fellow brothers in blue but Elliot wasn't going to take any chances. He would protect Calvin. "Please keep us updated though," Elliot said. He shook Pratt's hand before they turned to leave.

Calvin slipped his hand into Elliot's before they reached the front doors of the school. He had a death grip on Elliot's hand, determined not to let go.

"It's ok Calvin. I've got you," Elliot said gently. "I'll keep you safe."

Olivia had Calvin's backpack in one hand while she rested her other hand on Calvin's back.

/

Olivia stayed out in the squad room with Calvin while Elliot filled Cragen in on what had happened at the school.

"Why don't you guys take some time off," Cragen suggested.

"Are you sure that's ok Captain?" Elliot asked.

"Yah, I'll uh, I can write it up like a protective custody type thing," Cragen said. Elliot cocked his head to the side, knowing this was definitely bending the rules. "It's ok," Cragen reassured him. "I'll take care of it."

"Ok," Elliot said, nodding his head.

"It might be a good idea to leave town for a little while," Cragen said. "Calvin would be out of reach while we track down our perp and a change of scenery might do him some good."

"That might not be such a bad idea," Elliot agreed.

* * *

_Author's Note: Next—Calvin copes, they head out of town..._


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Elliot handed Olivia a cup of freshly brewed coffee and put a glass of milk on the coffee table for Calvin. He had a feeling it was going to be a long night. Calvin had been sitting on the couch silently in Olivia's arms ever since they had gotten home. He hadn't spoken in the car either. Elliot sat down on the other side of Calvin and rubbed his back.

"He's gonna get me too, isn't he?" Calvin asked.

"No Honey!" Olivia said. "He's not going to get you." Olivia held Calvin tighter.

"I don't want to die," Calvin said quietly.

"You're not going to die Sweetie," Olivia said. She kissed the top of his head. "Right Elliot?" she asked, looking over at him.

"Nothing is going to happen to you Calvin," Elliot reassured him. "We'll keep you safe. I promise." He reached over and held Calvin's hand.

/

Calvin didn't want to go to bed that night. Elliot and Olivia let him stay up with them. They knew he was tired and would fall asleep soon. After he fell asleep Elliot carried him back to his room and tucked him into his bed. When he came out to the living room Olivia was waiting for him with a beer for each of them.

"Cragen suggested we leave town for a little while," Elliot said. He twisted the cap off his beer and took a long drink. "I think we should do it. Get away from all of this, just escape for a little while."

Olivia took Elliot's free hand and pulled his arm around her. She curled her body into his. Elliot ran his hand up and down her arm while he held her. "Where would we go?" Olivia asked.

"I was kind of thinking about Florida. We can get a hotel room in Daytona Beach, relax on the beach, drive over to Discovery Cove one day, take Calvin to Busch Gardens. What do you think?"

"I like Florida, and we could use a vacation," Olivia agreed. She smiled up at Elliot. He leaned in to kiss her.

Elliot pulled up a travel website on the computer and booked a flight for first thing Wednesday morning. They spent Tuesday morning shopping for summer clothes for Calvin and packing. Tuesday afternoon Olivia took Calvin to the psychiatrist appointment she had scheduled the previous day before all hell broke loose at Calvin's school. Elliot called Kathy to let her know he would be out of town. It was her weekend with the kids but he always notified her when he was going out of town in case there was an emergency with any of the kids.

"What did Dr. Harmon say?" Elliot asked. He and Olivia were laying in bed, getting ready to go to sleep.

"She basically used today's appointment to get to know Calvin," Olivia said. "She prescribed him Zoloft to help with his anxiety and panic attacks. We really have to keep an eye on him until we know how it's going to affect him."

"We'll be able to watch him really well while we're in Florida," Elliot said.

"I read the side effects El, I'm not gonna lie, it's a little scary," Olivia said.

"We don't have to go to work; he doesn't have to go to school, it'll be just us. This whole week our attention will be focused on him," Elliot said. "These meds do a world of good for a lot of people Liv, you know that."

"I know," Olivia confessed. "I probably shouldn't have read the side effects. I want him to get better and if the medicine will help him then I want him to have it. I just have to get past my own fears."

"You're a great mom," Elliot smiled at Olivia.

/

Elliot and Olivia were up at 4:30 Wednesday morning. They had to be at the airport by 5:30 to catch their 6:30 flight. Elliot loaded their luggage into the trunk of the car while Olivia got Calvin up. They stopped at a gas station on the way to the airport to grab some coffee and a hot chocolate for Calvin.

They decided to put Calvin in the window seat on the plane. He had never flown before and they thought he would enjoy looking out the window. Olivia sat in the middle seat and Elliot sat in the aisle seat so he would have a little extra room to stretch his legs. Calvin smiled really big when they took off. Olivia heard his breath catch and was worried he was going to have another panic attack but he didn't. He looked out the window until they were above the clouds.

"We're going about 500mph," Olivia told Calvin.

"Really?" Calvin asked suspiciously. "It doesn't feel like we're going that fast."

Olivia nodded her head at him and smiled. She pulled out the banana she had packed for Calvin for breakfast and a bottle of chocolate milk along with his pill bottle. It was time to give Calvin his first dose and Olivia was so nervous she couldn't get the childproof cap off. Elliot took the pill bottle with one hand and put his other arm around her. He pulled her close to him.

"Don't let Calvin know you're nervous, it'll make him nervous," he whispered. "Everything's going to be ok Liv." He kissed the side of her face, then reached over and squeezed Calvin's shoulder.

Elliot opened the pills and took one out. He took the milk from Olivia, opened it and handed both to Calvin. "It's time for your medicine Buddy." Calvin looked over at Elliot; the smile disappeared from his face and was replaced with a worried expression.

"It's ok," Elliot said, smiling, trying to reassure him. "I promise."

Calvin looked at Olivia who managed to muster an encouraging smile for him then took the medicine and milk from Elliot. With little struggle he forced the pill down.

/

Their plane landed at Daytona Beach Airport shortly before 11:30. By 12:30 they were checked into their hotel. The hotels hot tub was closed for maintenance so they got a free room upgrade with a beautiful ocean view. They spent the afternoon exploring the town. After dinner they walked along the beach and watched the sun set.

On Thursday they took a day trip to Busch Gardens in Tampa Bay. They got their pictures taken with the Budweiser Clydesdales and walked around and looked at the other animals. Elliot persuaded Calvin to go on one of the roller coasters with him, after that there was no stopping him. Calvin rode every roller coaster in the park. On their way back to Daytona Beach they stopped at a pizza buffet for dinner. Elliot and Calvin had a pizza eating contest while Olivia laughed at them. Both of them were pleased to see Calvin eating so well. By the time they got back to their hotel it was late. They let Calvin surf channels until he fell asleep.

"Maybe he'll stay in his own bed tonight," Elliot said.

"Maybe," Olivia said. "We're all in the same room. This could be a step forward in getting him to sleep in his own bed at home too."

"Yep," Elliot smiled. He went into the bathroom and brushed his teeth. "He's doing really well here. He seems very relaxed."

"I wonder if it's because we're on vacation or if it's the medicine," Olivia said. She headed into the bathroom when Elliot was done. While Elliot was waiting for Olivia to come out he covered Calvin up and kissed his head.

"I was reading the sheet that came with the meds," Elliot said. "It said it could take up to two weeks for them to take effect. It's only been two days."

"Well, he's either learning how to cope or he feels safe here," Olivia said. She laid down next to Elliot and rested her head on his chest. Elliot ran his hand through her hair.

/

They spent Friday and Saturday in Daytona Beach. They went sightseeing, shopping for souvenirs, and relaxed on the beach. On Sunday they took a day trip to Discovery Cove. They swam with the dolphins, snorkeled with the tropical fish and fed the birds in the aviary. Calvin was having such a good time they had a hard time getting him to leave when it was time to go. When they got back to their hotel Calvin decided he wanted to go swimming in the ocean. While they were at the beach Elliot's phone rang.

"Captain, it's late, what are you still doing at the office?" Elliot asked.

"There's always work to be done," Cragen answered. "How are you guys doing?"

"Wonderful, this trip has been really great. Calvin is relaxed, he hasn't had any panic attacks, he's running around and playing like a normal kid, without a care in the world," Elliot said. He was watching Olivia and Calvin running into and out of the surf.

"That's great," Cragen said. "When do you guys come home?"

"We fly back tomorrow. Our flight gets in mid-afternoon. How's the case going? Have you heard? Have they caught the guy?"

"I called over to narcotics earlier today and spoke with a Detective Pratt. They had a lead on the perp, he was rushing out when I talked to him. He just called me back and told me they got the guy. I told him I'd notify you."

"That's great!" Elliot said. He and Olivia were worried about taking Calvin back to the city with his mother's killer still on the loose. They had planned on keeping him out of school until they guy was back behind bars.

"His bail has been revoked and he's scheduled to be in court tomorrow morning. Pratt is going to talk to the ADA and make sure none of this funny business happens again," Cragen said.

"Pratt seems like a good guy. I was a little worried at first when I saw how young he was but I think he has it together," Elliot said. "I'll call you tomorrow when we land and get an update."

Elliot filled Olivia and Calvin in on the good news as soon as he hung up with Cragen. Olivia was overjoyed. Elliot could see her visibly relax. Calvin didn't seem to be as relieved. The last time they had caught the guy he was let out on bail and had tracked Calvin down. Elliot and Olivia hoped he would be kept behind bars this time.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Their flight out on Monday left Daytona Beach at 7:30 in the morning. After a short layover in Atlanta they were back in New York by 3:00 that afternoon. Elliot called Cragen while he was making dinner.

"Captain, have you heard anything?"

"He copped a plea, got 25 to life," Cragen said. "We won't be seeing him again anytime soon."

"Alright, I guess I can live with that if it means Calvin doesn't have to testify. Thanks Captain."

After they ate dinner Olivia worked on doing laundry and Elliot washed the dishes while Calvin watched TV. Elliot had just let the water out of the sink when he heard a crash in the living room. He could hear the washer going so he knew Olivia hadn't heard. He raced to the living room and found Calvin mesmerized by the TV, rocking himself back and forth and struggling to breathe. His drinking glass was shattered on the floor at his feet.

Elliot stepped through the glass; glad he still had his shoes on. He picked Calvin up out of the glass and sat him on the couch then sat down next to him.

"It's ok Buddy," he said gently. "You're ok." He looked up at the TV and saw the news was on. They were airing a story about capturing the man who killed Calvin's mother. Elliot quickly flipped over to the Disney channel.

"Oh my gosh! What happened?" Olivia asked when she entered the room. She saw broken glass everywhere and Calvin rocking himself despite Elliot holding him.

"Somebody was watching the news and I think it triggered a little panic attack," Elliot said, hoping Olivia would be able to fill in the blanks. Olivia nodded her head. She stood behind the couch and put her hands on Calvin's shoulders.

"Remember we talked about this at dinner?" Elliot asked once Calvin had calmed down a little. "He's in jail now. He can't hurt you anymore."

"He was in jail before and he got out. He said he was gonna kill me," Calvin said, obviously upset.

Elliot held Calvin tighter while the boy cried. "That's not going to happen Calvin," Elliot said calmly. "This morning the judge sent him away for a very long time. You never have to see him again." Elliot wiped the tears from Calvin's eyes. "You're safe Calvin," he promised.

After they calmed Calvin they cleaned up the broken glass. Elliot cut the palm of his hand open.

"Let me see," Olivia said pulling Elliot's hand towards her.

"It's fine Liv, just needs a little super glue," Elliot said letting Olivia inspect his hand.

"You can't put super glue in that, you need to go to the hospital and get stitches."

"I'm not going to the hospital! It's just a small cut," Elliot argued. "They're just going to do the same thing. They don't even use stitches anymore, just some overpriced medical goop."

"They're gonna clean it out for you!" Olivia argued back. "Make sure there's no glass in there!"

"There isn't any glass in here," Elliot said poking at the cut. "I'd feel it. If you don't want to glue me up then I can do it myself."

"You're such a stubborn ass!" Olivia said, glaring at him. Elliot smiled at Olivia as she went to get the super glue.

That night Elliot and Olivia persuaded Calvin to go to bed in his own room. He had school the next day so they sent him to bed at 9:00. They told him if he woke up during the night he could come back in their room, hoping it would ease his nerves some. After Calvin went to bed Olivia decided to take a hot bath. Elliot flipped on the TV. It wasn't long before Calvin wandered back into the living room.

"I can't sleep," Calvin said. "I don't like the dark."

"Come here," Elliot said patting the couch next to him. Calvin sat next to Elliot and laid his head on Elliot's chest. "I'll put a night light in your room so it isn't so dark," Elliot said. He kissed the top of Calvin's head, then ran his fingers through Calvin's hair until he fell asleep. After he put Calvin in bed he took the night light out of the hall and plugged it in next to Calvin's bed.

/

Olivia woke up at 6:00 the next morning. She was surprised to find Calvin hadn't climbed into bed with them during the night. She woke Elliot up, got dressed, and woke Calvin up. She decided to make breakfast burritos while Elliot and Calvin were getting ready. She couldn't cook very many things but everybody loved her eggs.

Elliot and Olivia dropped Calvin off at school before they went to work. Their week was relatively uneventful. Calvin had appointment with his counselor on Tuesday afternoon. Calvin's principal scheduled a meeting with Elliot and Olivia for Friday afternoon before he got out of school.

Elliot and Olivia walked into Principal Gibb's office.

"Elliot, Olivia, this is Sam Peters, Calvin's guidance counselor," Gibb introduced the gentleman sitting to the side of her desk. They all said hello and shook hands.

"I met with Calvin's teacher a couple times, and I had the opportunity to talk to Calvin yesterday," Peters started. "We called this meeting to fill you in on how he's doing."

Olivia grabbed Elliot's hand, worried about what the counselor was going to tell them. Elliot smiled at Sam and nodded his head. He squeezed Olivia's hand.

"It's nothing bad, nothing that isn't to be expected under the circumstances," Peters said. "Calvin is having a difficult time paying attention in class and getting his school work done."

"We work on his homework with him every night," Olivia cut in, feeling the need to defend herself. Elliot squeezed her hand to try to get her to relax. This wasn't his first meeting with a school counselor.

Peters nodded his head at Olivia. "Yes, his teacher has that. The issue is becoming his class work. Sometimes he's zoned out like a zombie, which is probably the medication he's on. Other times he's busy looking around the classroom or out the window, he's not focusing on what's going on in the classroom. He's also struggling socially. He's very withdrawn, he doesn't have any friends, he doesn't hang around with any of the other kids."

"What does he do?" Elliot asked confused.

"He usually goes off by himself and watches the other children. We've encouraged him to play with the other kids, we've introduced him to a couple of the other children hoping they would become friends but Calvin is very withdrawn."

"Has he had any panic attacks here?" Olivia asked.

"We've tried to keep an eye on that and we haven't noticed anything. I just spoke to his teacher at lunch and she hadn't noticed any," Peters answered.

Olivia let out a small sigh of relief. She was worried about his panic attacks and not being there for him if it happened at school.

"We really just wanted you guys to be aware of how things are going here," Principal Gibb said. "These are all things his psychiatrist can work with him on and help you guys with. He's not in any trouble or disturbing the class or anything, we're just a little concerned."

"Thank you," Olivia said. "We really appreciate it."

"Call us anytime, for any reason," Elliot added with a grateful smile.

They left the principal's office and waited outside Calvin's classroom door for him.

"It could have been much worse," Elliot told Olivia. He knew she wasn't used to going to school meetings. She had been nervous about it all day.

Olivia tried to smile at him. Elliot put his arm around her and pulled her close. "Everything is going to be ok Liv," he said quietly. He felt her relax a little.

"Hi Honey," Olivia smiled when Calvin came out of his classroom. She gave Calvin a hug.

Elliot took Calvin's backpack from him. "Hey Kiddo."

"Am I in trouble?" Calvin asked as he nervously slipped his hand into Elliot's.

"Not at all," Olivia reassured him. "We just had a meeting with your principal, perfectly normal."

"Mom never had meetings with my principal," Calvin said.

Elliot squeezed Calvin's hand, unsure of how to respond. "I have meetings with Dickie's principal all the time." Elliot winked at him and saw a small smile appear on Calvin's face. "Speaking of Dickie, it's my weekend with the kids!"

* * *

_Author's Note: Next—Elliot's kids come over, a meeting with Calvin's psychiatrist.  
Weekends are a bit crazy around here so I may not be able to update until next week. Thank you all for reading and reviewing! It is much appreciated!_


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

Kathy dropped the kids off at Elliot and Olivia's apartment shortly before 5:00 on Friday evening. She was supposed to have them there by 4:00 but Elliot decided to bite his tongue and not say anything. After Maureen and Kathleen arrived Elliot and Olivia took the kids out for pizza and ice cream. The weather was changing from winter to spring and it was almost warm enough to enjoy a cool treat. They knew the kids would love it. On their way home they stopped and rented a couple movies.

When they got home Olivia changed Eli into his pajamas while Elliot made popcorn to eat during the movie.

"Dad?"

"Dickie?"

"Would it be ok if Ben came over tomorrow?" Dickie asked.

"Ben? Do I know Ben?" Elliot asked.

"Dad! He lives down the street from us, uh, from Mom," Dickie stuttered.

"Oh! That Ben. If it's ok with his parents it's fine with me, just try to include Calvin in whatever you guys do please," Elliot said.

"We will. I think Ben is the same age as Calvin anyways."

Elliot smiled at Dickie and handed him one of the big bowls of popcorn to take out into the living room. He grabbed Eli's sippy cup and the other big bowl of the popcorn and followed Dickie out. Olivia already had the movie in the DVD player ready to go.

/

On Saturday Olivia took Lizzie and Eli grocery shopping while Elliot took Dickie and Calvin to pick Ben up.

"Hi Mr. Stabler," Ben said as he climbed into the van. "Thank you for letting me come over today."

"No problem Ben," Elliot smiled at him. Ben was one of the politest kids he knew. "This is..."

"Calvin," Ben cut Elliot off.

"You guys know each other?" Elliot asked, surprised.

"Yah, we're in the same class," Ben said.

"You go all the way into the city to go to school?" Elliot asked.

Ben shrugged his shoulders. "It's right by my Mom's work; she drops me off and picks me up every day."

"Cool," Elliot said. He put the car in reverse and backed out of the driveway.

As he was parking the van at their apartment his phone rang.

"What's up Liv?" he asked after looking at his caller ID.

"Hey Babe. You put tomatoes on the list, did you want fresh or canned?"

"Fresh, sorry about that," Elliot said. "Hey Liv, guess what? Ben and Calvin are in the same class."

"Really?" Olivia asked. "That's great, maybe he'll make a friend."

"Mhmm," Elliot hummed. "See ya when you get home. Love you."

"Love you too El."

Elliot picked up the house a little while the boys went back to Dickie's room to play. When he was done cleaning he sat down on the couch and pulled out a case file to go over while he waited for Olivia to return home. They had to be in court on Monday and he wanted to review the file before he had to testify.

Calvin came out to the living room and sat down next to Elliot. Elliot looked down at him and Calvin smiled at Elliot.

"What's that?" Calvin asked, looking at the folder Elliot was holding.

"This is work Kiddo, why aren't you playing with Dickie and Ben?"

Calvin shrugged his shoulders and looked at his lap. Elliot put the folder aside and put his arm around Calvin. "What's wrong Calvin?" he asked.

"I just want to sit with you," Calvin mumbled.

Elliot kissed the top of Calvin's head. "Ben is a really cool kid Calvin," Elliot said. "I've known him for a long time. It would be nice to have a friend, don't you think?"

"I don't know." Calvin shrugged his shoulders again and his upper body started to tense up.

"Take a deep breath," Elliot instructed, "try to relax." Calvin looked up at him. "I'll do it with you," Elliot said.

"Calvin?" Dickie called. "Where'd you go?" he asked.

Calvin looked up at Elliot. "Go play," Elliot instructed. "I'll be right here. I'm not going anywhere, I promise." Calvin reluctantly followed Dickie back to his bedroom.

/

Elliot and Olivia took the kids bowling that afternoon. They dropped Ben off at his house afterwards. After they put Eli to bed they played Monopoly with Dickie, Calvin and Lizzie before bed.

"I think Calvin's struggling with a little separation anxiety," Elliot told Olivia after he'd brushed his teeth. "This morning while you were shopping he wanted to sit on the couch with me instead of playing with Dickie and Ben."

"He is really clingy," Olivia said. She laid down next to Elliot and he pulled the covers over them.

"I don't think it's that big of a deal, just something to be aware of," Elliot said.

"His counseling appointment is on Monday this week," Olivia said. "I'll mention it."

* * *

Elliot and Olivia got stuck in court on Monday so they had to have Munch pick Calvin up from school. They were a little worried but they had prepared Calvin for something like that happening. They knew he loved Munch, he called him Uncle John.

When Elliot and Olivia arrived at the precinct to pick Calvin up for his counseling appointment they found he and Munch had wrapped their desks in crime scene tape.

"Nice John, very mature," Olivia teased.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Munch said innocently. He winked at Calvin as Elliot helped him into his jacket.

"We'd love to stay and chat but we're going to be late," Elliot said. "Thanks for watching him John."

"Anytime," Munch said. "It was a pleasure."

They raced into the psychiatrist's waiting room at 6:01. One minute late for Calvin's appointment. Olivia went back first to speak with Dr. Harmon privately while Elliot waited with Calvin in the waiting room.

"How are things going?" Dr. Harmon asked Olivia.

"Honestly, I'm not sure," Olivia said. "Calvin did so well while we were in Florida but since we've been back he's having panic attacks again, he's always looking over his shoulder, he's struggling to pay attention in school, he's struggling socially. Elliot thinks he may have some separation anxiety."

Dr. Harmon listened attentively as Olivia spoke and scribbled away on her note pad. "Florida was an escape for Calvin, as much as it was for you and Elliot. He was carefree and he had your undivided attention," she said. "Back in the city he has responsibilities; he has to leave you to go to school, he remembers his mother dying, he remembers the bad guy finding him at school. Therapy will help him with all of that but it's going to take time Olivia." Dr. Harmon smiled at Olivia. "He may be developing a little separation anxiety. The stress of losing a loved one can trigger that as well as a change in environment. Try to stick with a normal routine, ease his fears as best as you can but don't coddle him too much. I know it's difficult."

"Ok," Olivia nodded her head.

"I'll reevaluate his meds after he's been on them a month and see if we need to make any changes, other than that therapy will work. It's just going to take time. Calvin has been through a lot in the past few weeks."

"Thank you Doctor," Olivia smiled at her. She joined Elliot in the waiting room while Calvin went in for his appointment.

* * *

Elliot had finished his testimony in court on Monday but they couldn't get to Olivia until Tuesday. Since he couldn't have lunch with Olivia, Elliot decided to go by Calvin's school and check on him. He checked in at the front office and was taken to the cafeteria.

"Hey Kiddo," he said. Calvin jumped up from the table and hugged Elliot. "Ok, sit down. Let's eat." Elliot looked around the crowded lunch room. The fact that Calvin was at a small table by himself broke Elliot's heart.

"Do you want my apple?" Calvin offered.

"No Bud, you eat your lunch, I'll grab something later," Elliot said.

"I never eat the apples," Calvin confessed.

"You don't like apples?" Elliot asked. Calvin turned away from Elliot and shook his head. "Hey, it's ok. You don't have to like apples Calvin; you've just got to tell us, ok?"

"Ok," Calvin smiled shyly at Elliot and handed him the apple.

"Hi Mr. Stabler."

"Ben! How are you? Have a seat," Elliot said.

"I'm good."

When Calvin was done eating Elliot went out on the playground with him. He grabbed a basketball and started shooting hoops with Calvin. It wasn't long before the other kids starting flocking over to them. Elliot organized a schoolyard basketball game and before he knew it the bell rang and recess was over.

"Your dad is so cool Calvin," the other kids kept telling him as they headed back towards the school.

"Don't be afraid of the other kids Calvin. Ok?" he said as he leaned down to say good-bye. "It's ok to make friends."

"Can I come home with you?" Calvin asked. He wrapped his arms around Elliot's neck.

Elliot hugged him back. "Nope, you've gotta go back to school and I have to go back to work. I'll pick you up after school though." He kissed Calvin good-bye and watched as he headed back inside the school.

/

Elliot stopped at the courthouse on his way back to the precinct. Olivia wasn't going to get out until 5:00. Cragen sent Elliot and Fin to central booking to book a perp SVU had collared earlier that day. On their way back to the precinct they stopped to pick Calvin up from school.

"Um, Calvin's dad?" a young boy asked, tugging on Elliot's suit jacket.

"What's your name?" Elliot asked, kneeling down to the child's level.

"I'm Jack. I'm In 2nd grade."

"My name is Elliot, Jack. What can I do for you."

"Can we play basketball again?" the young boy asked.

"I want to play too!" another child chimed in. Almost before Elliot could answer there was a small gathering of children begging to play basketball again. Elliot looked at Fin who gave him a strange look.

"I stopped by at lunch and we played ball," Elliot explained.

"And look what you've started," Fin laughed.

Elliot glanced at his watch and then at Fin.

"What Cragen don't know won't hurt him," Fin said. "I'm in."

"What about you Calvin?" Elliot asked.

"Ok," Calvin smiled.

Elliot and Fin took the kids out on the playground and split them up into teams and played basketball with them for about a half an hour. Elliot was pleased to see Calvin really getting into the game and communicating with the other kids on his team.

"Ok guys," Elliot said when the game was over. "We have to go back to work now." There was a chorus of disapproving moans from the kids. "I'm sorry," Elliot said. "I'll see you guys later."

Elliot, Fin and Calvin headed towards the car as the kids shouted good-bye.

"They think you're really cool Elliot!" Calvin said as he grabbed onto Elliot's hand.

"Yah?" Elliot asked. "Did you talk to them? Did you make some new friends?"

"They like me now cuz I have a cool dad!" Calvin said.

"Aww, ain't that sweet Stabler. You're a cool dad," Fin teased.

Elliot was thrilled that Calvin was happy and had a good day at school. "They like you because of who you are Calvin, not because of me. You're the one who they hang out with at school every day." Elliot put Calvin's backpack in the backseat before getting into the driver's seat and putting the key in the ignition. They hurried back to the precinct hoping Cragen hadn't missed them.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

Elliot and Calvin picked Olivia up from court around 5:00 Tuesday evening.

"How was your day?" Elliot asked after he'd given her a kiss.

"Uneventful," Olivia answered. "How was your day?"

"Elliot came to my school and played basketball and now the other kids like me," Calvin said.

"Really?" Olivia asked excitedly. She looked at Elliot with a puzzled look on her face.

Elliot shrugged. "It just kinda happened. You were stuck in court so I went over to check on him on my lunch hour."

"And we played after school! Fin played too," Calvin said.

"Fin was with me when I picked him up. We'd just booked De'Angelo and swung by to get him on our way back to the precinct," Elliot explained.

"What about Cragen?" Olivia asked.

"We only played for about a half an hour. Cragen didn't say anything; I don't think he missed us."

"Well that's wonderful! I'm glad you made some new friends!" Olivia told Calvin.

/

"You should have seen him Liv," Elliot said after they had gone to bed that night. "He really came out of his shell, he was talking to the other kids, running around, he played hard. I was a little worried he'd sit back and watch but he got right in there. He's pretty good too."

"I'm sorry I missed it," Olivia said. "I'm happy for him. Thank you for doing that Elliot."

"We should sign him up for Little League," Elliot suggested. "I think it'd be good for him. I could coach the team, they always need coaches. I might even be able to get Fin to help. He looked like he had fun today."

"Fin coaching Little League," Olivia laughed.

"Hey, Fin may be a bad ass but he has a soft spot for kids."

"I think it's a great idea," Olivia said. "When does the season start?"

"In a couple weeks, the beginning of April. We can go this weekend and get him signed up."

* * *

The next day Elliot and Olivia were at the hospital talking to a victim when Olivia's phone rang. She excused herself from the room and went out to the ambulance bay to take the call.

"Principal Gibb, what's going on?" Olivia asked.

"I'm sorry to bother you Detective. Is the man who killed Calvin's mother still in jail?"

"Yes," Olivia said starting to get worried. "For at least 25 years."

"Calvin insists he saw him today while he was out at recess. He had a panic attack in my office and we're having a hard time getting him calmed back down. Is there any way..."

"We'll be right there," Olivia said.

Olivia knocked on the glass wall of the room Elliot was in with their victim, signaling him to come out.

"Calvin had a panic attack. He thought he saw his mom's killer and they can't get him calmed down," Olivia said.

"Go," Elliot said. He dug the car keys out of his pocket and handed them to Olivia.

"You gonna be ok? Do you want me to call Fin in to cover?" Olivia asked.

"Nah, just swing by and get me after you get Calvin," Elliot said.

Olivia hurried to the school, trying to keep her emotions in check. She knew Calvin was going to have problems sometimes, and she knew she couldn't always be there but it still broke her heart. Calvin raced into her arms as soon as he saw her.

"Your all sweaty Calvin, what happened?" Olivia asked.

"He was here! I saw him. Nobody believes me but he was here, when I was outside. He came to kill me. He had a gun. A big gun," Calvin insisted.

"Shh, shh, calm down Honey. It's ok," Olivia said trying to calm him. "That man is still in jail. He can't come find you. You're safe. We wouldn't leave you here if you weren't."

"Where's Elliot?" Calvin asked, looking behind Olivia for Elliot. "Is he dead? Did he die? Did somebody kill him?" he asked in a panic.

"Calvin, Baby, Elliot is fine. You've got to calm down Honey. Take a deep breath and try to relax."

"He's been really worked up," Principal Gibb told Olivia. "That's why we called you."

"I'm glad you did," Olivia said. "I'm just going to take him with me, I think." Olivia had decided in the car on the way over that she was going to try to have Calvin stay at school but when she saw how worked up and upset he was she knew she better take him.

"I'll go get his things," Gibb said.

/

Olivia sent Elliot a text message while she was waiting for the principal to return with Calvin's things. _He's REALLY WORKED UP. Bringing him with me, we're on our way._ Elliot replied _I'll be out front._

When they pulled up in front of the hospital Calvin jumped out of the car as soon as he saw Elliot. "I saw him Elliot. He was at my school. Nobody will believe me." Tears started streaming down Calvin's face. "Why won't anyone believe me?"

Elliot opened the car door for Calvin. Olivia was in a passenger loading zone and he didn't want to block it. He sat in the backseat next to Calvin. He buckled Calvin in, kissed his head and put his arm around him.

"What happened?" Elliot asked, looking at Olivia in the rear view mirror.

"He thought he saw him at recess. He's been worked up ever since," Olivia said.

"Could he have seen something?" Elliot asked, wondering if one of the guy's buddies was hanging around.

"The principal looked and didn't see anything. Everyone over there has been hypervigilant since this happened and no one saw anything."

"I saw him Elliot. I swear, he was there," Calvin cried. "He came to kill me!"

"Ok, ok," Elliot said rubbing his back. "Calm down. You're safe. Shh."

"He had my mom. He was going to kill her too. I don't know where my mom went," Calvin started to panic again. "We have to go find my mom! He's gonna get her!" He started to take his seatbelt off but Elliot caught him.

Elliot held Calvin tight. He looked at Olivia in the rear view mirror.

"Why aren't we going to get my mom?" Calvin asked.

"Calvin, your mom died," Elliot said gently. "Do you remember?"

"No, no, no, no, no," Calvin repeated shaking his head.

Elliot put his hand on the side of Calvin's head and gently pulled him into his chest. "It's ok," he told him as he slowly rocked him. "It's ok."

Olivia parked the car at the precinct and they sat in it until Calvin had calmed down. Elliot wiped the tears from Calvin's face and they got out of the car. Calvin hung his head as they walked into the precinct. Cragen looked from Calvin to Olivia to Elliot when they entered the squad room.

"Sorry Captain," Elliot said. "He had a panic attack at school; they couldn't get him calmed down."

"As long as you're getting your work done," Cragen said. "What's the story on our victim?"

"They found internal bleeding so they're taking her into surgery. I've got to send a sketch artist over there when she gets out," Elliot said.

Olivia pulled up a chair next to her desk for Calvin while Elliot talked to Cragen. She gave him some paper and a pencil but he just laid his head on her desk.

"I may have found a pattern in ViCAP for your rapist," Munch told Olivia. He patted Calvin's back but Calvin didn't acknowledge him.

Elliot sat down in his chair, across from Olivia. "Cragen's not mad," he said. Olivia nodded her head.

"This is your guy's fourth victim. Violently sodimizes them with whatever's handy, carves the letter 'A' on their chest and leaves them naked in an alley."

"Thanks John," Elliot said.

"He's asleep," John said, motioning towards Calvin.

"I'm not surprised," Elliot said. He took Calvin up to the crib, took his shoes off and tucked him into one of the bottom bunks. He kissed the boys forehead then went back to his desk.

"What's Calvin doing here?" Huang asked. He had been observing an interrogation when Elliot and Olivia arrived with Calvin.

"He thought he saw they guy who killed his mother at school," Olivia said. "I just checked and he's still in jail."

"He also thought he saw his mother," Elliot added.

"That's not uncommon," Huang said. "When we lose someone unexpectedly it's normal to think you see them sometimes, especially for children. His mind is actively trying to process the trauma. It's a good sign."

"Yah, yah," Olivia said defeated. "He'll get over it with therapy. It will take time," she added sarcastically. She had heard that so many times she was almost ready to strangle the next person who said it. She felt so helpless just sitting back, watching and waiting.

"Give yourself some time too Olivia," Huang said smiling. She furrowed her brow at him wondering what he meant. "One second you didn't have any kids, now you have a 10 year old, a traumatized 10 year old. Give yourself some time to adjust. It's not supposed to be easy."

"I'm sorry George," Olivia said, regretting her previous sarcastic comment. She knew Huang was just trying to help.

Huang smiled and nodded at her. "Call me anytime."

Calvin slept the better part of the afternoon. Olivia woke him up around 4:00. She was worried he wouldn't sleep that night if they let him sleep any longer. Elliot had just come back from the coffee shop when Calvin and Olivia were coming down the stairs. He set his coffee down on his desk and handed Olivia a cup of coffee. He pulled a bottle of Pepsi out of his jacket pocket and set it down in front of Calvin. He handed Calvin the hot dog he had bought from the vendor on the corner. Calvin rubbed his eyes and looked up at Elliot but didn't take the hot dog.

"Come on Kiddo, I know you missed lunch. Try to eat a little bit for me, please," Elliot said.

Calvin took the hot dog and smiled at Elliot. Elliot took the cap off the Calvin's Pepsi to make sure it didn't overflow from being bounced around in his pocket; he ruffled Calvin's hair before sitting down at his desk.

/

"Olivia?" Calvin said as she was tucking him into bed that night. "My mom's really dead, isn't she?"

Olivia sat down on Calvin's bed next to him. "Yes, she is."

"How did I see her earlier?" he asked.

"That was just your mind playing tricks on you, Sweetie," Olivia said. She brushed Calvin's bangs out of his face and kissed his forehead. "Good night Baby."

* * *

Elliot and Olivia spent Thursday comparing the four rapes their serial rapist committed and found they all used the same cell phone service. With the help of TARU they were able to back track a hacker which gave them the name and address of their perp.

Olivia turned on her charm to distract their suspect while Elliot conned him into implicating himself in the crimes. Cragen put a rush on the DNA so they could close the case. He gave Elliot and Olivia Friday off.

Munch had picked Calvin up from school for them since they were busy. He was up in the lounge working on his homework when they got done.

"How was school today Honey?" Olivia asked.

"I made a friend," Calvin said proudly. "He wants to come over tomorrow."

"That's great," Elliot said. "What's his name?"

"Tyler. He played basketball with us."

"I remember him, the little blond kid?"

Calvin nodded his head. "Can he come over?"

"As long as it's ok with his parents," Olivia said.

"He gave me his phone number," Calvin said, taking a folded up piece of paper out of his pocket.

"Ok, we'll give them a call when we get home," Olivia said.

"Thank you," Calvin smiled. "Did you get the bad guy? Uncle John said you were getting a bad guy and that's why you couldn't pick me up from school."

"Yah Kiddo," Elliot said. "We got the bad guy."


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Elliot and Olivia were looking forward to having Friday off. Olivia made Calvin's lunch while Elliot got him out of bed.

"Can I stay home with you guys today?" Calvin asked while he was eating his cereal.

"Nope, you've got to go to school Honey," Olivia said. "You can stay home with us tomorrow. Besides, Tyler is coming home with you today, remember?"

"Oh yah," Calvin smiled.

While Elliot took Calvin to school Olivia lit the candles in their bedroom. She dimmed the lights in the rest of the house and put on some lingerie. She made a trail of rose petals from the front door to their bedroom and waited for Elliot to return.

/

Elliot and Olivia invited Tyler's parents over for dinner that night so they could all get to know each other. They spent the morning relaxing and getting the house ready. On their way to pick up the boys from school they stopped at the farmer's market to pick up a few things for the meal.

"What are Tyler's parent's names again?" Elliot asked Olivia while they were waiting for school to get out.

"Mark and Teresa," Olivia reminded him.

"Hi boys, how was school?" Olivia asked when they got into the car.

"Good," both boys said at the same time. They looked at each other and giggled.

"Is everybody buckled?" Elliot asked, before putting the car in gear.

"Yah," Calvin said.

"Ty?" Elliot asked, turning around to look at him.

"Uh-huh," Tyler answered.

When they got home Olivia got each of the boys a snack while Elliot made sure he had everything for their Italian themed dinner. The boys played video games for a little while then disappeared into Calvin's room.

Tyler's parents arrived shortly before 6:00. Olivia had already finished making the salad. Elliot was just pulling the lasagna and garlic bread out of the oven. Olivia sent the boys to wash up then poured wine for the adults. They made small talk over dinner about careers, the kids, their summer plans, and other things.

"Olivia," Calvin asked. He got up, walked over to her and grabbed onto her arm.

"What Babe?" Olivia said.

"Can we be excused?" Calvin asked. He and Tyler had finished eating and we tired of listening to the adults talk.

"Yes Honey, I'm sorry. Leave your plates and I'll take care of them." Olivia patted Calvin's back before he and Tyler disappeared back to Calvin's bedroom.

"So how long have you guys lived in the city?" Elliot asked.

"Mark's lived here his whole life," Teresa said. "Tyler and I just moved here from Texas about a year ago. Tyler's real father died in a car accident three years ago."

"I'm so sorry," Olivia said. "I had no idea."

"It was rough for a while, especially for Tyler but we're doing better now. I guess you guys are used to that kind of thing being police officers."

"Working with traumatized people is actually a lot different than living with someone who is going through it," Olivia said. "It's hard, feeling so helpless; all you can do is watch. Calvin's mother died unexpectedly a few weeks ago."

"Oh no," Teresa said. "Are you his father?" she asked looking at Elliot trying to figure out their relationship. The two looked nothing alike.

"No, Liv and I are his legal guardians," Elliot answered. "It's kind of a long story." He didn't want to get into Vivian's drug history or even her murder at that point.

"Do you mind me asking what symptoms Tyler had?" Olivia asked.

"Not at all. Tyler had horrible separation anxiety. I couldn't even go to the bathroom without him freaking out. He had panic attacks. He was so withdrawn. He still has a difficult time making friends. He suffered from insomnia so bad I had to put him on medicine. He just had so many problems."

"Calvin has panic attacks," Olivia said. "Yesterday I had to go get him from school; he had a pretty bad one. He struggles with separation anxiety a little bit. He's very clingy. He slept in our bed for awhile; we're just now getting him back into his own bed. I just wish we could do more for him."

"That's the hardest part," Teresa said. "Watching them struggle and there's so little you can do."

"Can I get you guys some coffee?" Elliot asked.

Mark and Teresa both nodded their heads.

"Liv?"

"That'd be great Honey," Olivia said. Olivia took Tyler's parents out to the living room while Elliot made the coffee.

"Tyler and Calvin have a lot in common. I'm glad they found each other," Teresa said.

"We are too," Olivia said. "Calvin needs a good friend."

Elliot made his way out to the living room with the coffee.

"So is Calvin your only child?" Mark asked.

"I have 5 from my previous marriage," Elliot said.

"Really?" Mark said.

Elliot nodded proudly. "I've got two in college, Maureen and Kathleen. I've got 12 year old twins, Dickie and Lizzie. And I've got a four year old, Eli. They're at their mother's house this weekend. Do you guys have any more?"

"No, Tyler is our only child. Between him and our dog we have our work cut out for us," Teresa said. "I don't know how you do it with six!"

"I can be challenging," Elliot admitted. "But I love it."

"We're very blessed," Olivia added.

Calvin and Tyler came out to the living room. Calvin leaned against Elliot and smiled at him.

"Can I help you?" Elliot asked.

Calvin wrapped his arms around Elliot's neck. Elliot hugged him back.

"Whatcha need Kiddo?" he asked.

"Can me and Ty have some pudding?" Calvin asked shyly.

"Pudding?" Elliot said. "How about some cake and ice cream?"

"Chocolate?" Calvin asked.

"Is there any other kind?" Elliot said. "What about you Ty? Do you like chocolate cake?" Tyler smiled at Elliot and nodded his head. "Tell you what, if you guys help me serve, I'll give you a little extra ice cream."

Elliot put cake and ice cream in bowls and the boys took it out to Olivia, Mark, and Teresa. He made the boys each a bowl, poured them a glass of chocolate milk and let them sit at the kitchen island to eat.

* * *

Elliot and Olivia were up and wanted to be ready to go by 9:00 on Saturday morning. They wanted to get to the stores early before they got too crowded. Olivia went into Calvin's room to wake him up. The medicine the doctor had given him always put him into a deep sleep.

"Calvin," Olivia said. She rubbed his back. "Calvin, Honey, it's time to wake up."

Calvin groaned and pulled his blankets over his head. Olivia pulled his blankets away from his face and kissed his forehead.

"Come on. We're gonna get you signed up for baseball today," Olivia smiled at him. Calvin slowly sat up and rolled out of bed. Olivia left so he could get dressed. Olivia put some finishing touches of makeup on while Elliot made a quick shopping list. Calvin stumbled into the living room and flopped down on the couch next to Elliot. He laid his head on Elliot's arm.

"Good morning Kiddo." Elliot hugged Calvin. "Liv made you a breakfast burrito, it's on the counter."

"I'm not hungry," Calvin mumbled.

"Ok, we'll take it with us. You can eat in the car." Elliot patted Calvin's back then turned his attention back to the grocery list. "I'm making the shopping list, do you want anything? Something for your lunch or a treat or anything?" Elliot asked Calvin.

"No," Calvin said. He laid his head back on Elliot's arm. Elliot kissed the top of his head and finished his list while they waited for Olivia.

/

After they got their grocery shopping done and everything put away they went out to Queens to pick Dickie up. They took Dickie and Calvin and signed them up for Little League and got them fitted for their uniforms. They took the boys out for lunch. Elliot got some fresh baked cookies for Lizzie and Eli.

After they dropped Dickie off, Elliot and Olivia took Calvin to Central Park. It was a beautiful spring day and they wanted to get some fresh air and enjoy the sunshine.

"Can we get a dog?" Calvin asked. They were walking along one of the trails and a dog walker with five dogs had just passed them.

"I don't think so Sweetheart," Olivia said. "We're not home enough; it wouldn't be fair to the dog."

"Aww," Calvin whined.

"What about a fish?" Elliot suggested. "We could get you a fish tank."

"Only if I can go fishing in it," Calvin said smiling. "Fish are dumb."

"I'm sorry Bud," Elliot said. "We'll have to plan a trip to go fishing."

Calvin stopped walking and stared across the crowded field.

"What do you see Calvin?" Olivia asked.

"Mom!" Calvin let go of Elliot's hand and took off across the field. "Momma!"

"Calvin no!" Elliot yelled. He and Olivia chased Calvin.

Elliot caught up with Calvin first. He grabbed him mid-stride and picked him up.

"No! Let me go!" Calvin started hitting Elliot and fighting to get free.

"Calvin calm down," Elliot said slightly out of breath. When Calvin stopped struggling Elliot put him down. He knelt beside him and held onto him so he couldn't take off again. Olivia knelt on the other side of him and held his hand.

"She was here," Calvin said scanning the crowd. He slowly realized he hadn't seen his mother but his mind had been playing tricks on him again. Olivia hugged Calvin and kissed his head.

"I thought I saw her," Calvin said quietly.

"I know Baby," Olivia said. Elliot rubbed Calvin's back while Olivia held him.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

Elliot was starting to worry about Calvin's 'mother sightings.' He wasn't as concerned when it happened the first time at school but chasing Calvin through Central Park worried him. He knew all too well how many predators were out there who would love to take a young boy who had run off chasing a ghost. He and Olivia couldn't be with Calvin all the time.

Elliot didn't really have an opportunity to talk to Olivia about it in front of Calvin but he decided to take Calvin to the cemetery on their way home. He stopped at a flower shop and left Olivia and Calvin in the car while he ran in and got two white roses. One for Olivia and one for Calvin to leave on his mother's grave.

They drove along the road in the cemetery and parked close to Vivian's grave. It was only one row over from the street. Olivia walked Calvin to her grave, kissed him on the head and left him to talk with his mother. She and Elliot leaned on the car and watched him. Calvin knelt on the ground in front of Vivian's gravestone and traced the engraved letters that spelled out his mother's name. Elliot and Olivia could hear him talking but they couldn't make out what he was saying.

"This was a good idea El," Olivia said quietly. Elliot draped his arm over Olivia's shoulder and pulled her close so he could kiss her forehead. Olivia wrapped her arm around Elliot's back.

"I was thinking," Elliot said. "The kids are on spring break in two weeks, and we always spend the week at Treman State Park."

"Mhmm," Olivia hummed.

"Why don't we invite Mark and Teresa and Tyler?" Elliot suggested.

"That'd be fun," Olivia said. "It's short notice, do you think they'd be able to?"

"Mark owns his own business and Teresa said she wasn't working right now. I think there's a good chance, but all we can do is ask," Elliot said.

"I'll call Teresa this evening," Olivia said. "Maybe we can at least take Tyler."

Calvin stood up and leaned the rose against his mother's gravestone. Elliot walked over and stood behind him and crossed his arms over Calvin's chest.

"You ok?" Elliot asked.

Calvin nodded him head and brushed a few tears off his cheek before turning to face Elliot. Elliot knelt down and ran his thumb under Calvin's eyes, sweeping away the remaining tears. He pulled Calvin in for a hug before walking him back to the car.

/

When they got home Olivia called Teresa while Elliot and Calvin cooked dinner.

"Hi Teresa, it's Olivia. How are you guys doing?"

"Hi Olivia!" Teresa sounded excited to hear from Olivia. "We're doing pretty good. How are you?"

"We're doing great. Elliot and I are enjoying a three day weekend. That doesn't happen very often. So listen, every year over the kid's spring break Elliot and I take them to Robert Treman State Park. Elliot is friends with one of the park rangers up there and he always opens a cabin up for us."

"That sounds like fun," Teresa said.

"Oh, we always have a blast. It's our own little tradition. This will be Calvin's first year so we're really excited. We were wondering if you guys wanted to come along."

"Really?" Teresa asked. Olivia had the impression Teresa didn't have many close friends to do things with. "Spring break is in two weeks? I'll have to check with Mark and see if he can take some time off work, but that sounds like fun. Where is this place?"

"It's over by Ithaca. It's about a four and a half hour drive but it's totally worth it. It is so beautiful there. The waterfalls are breathtaking!"

"I'll talk to Mark and let you know. Thank you for inviting us," Teresa said.

"Great!" Olivia said. "I really hope you guys can make it."

* * *

Elliot pulled the van up in front of the cabin in Treman State Park. He and Mark had made the journey with the older children in the van while Olivia and Teresa followed with Eli in the car. Olivia parked the car next to the van. Their cabin was right next to a heavily wooded area with hiking trails leading into it. Not too far from the front door was a breathtaking waterfall that emptied out into the swimming area. Since the cabins weren't yet open to other visitors Elliot was always given the best one. They were close to the swimming area, the best fishing spots, the playgrounds, and the hiking trails, not to mention the beautiful scenic views all around them and the sounds and smells of nature.

They spent their first day gathering the firewood for the fireplace, getting settled into their cabin, and exploring the area.

"Where's the TV?" Calvin asked when they were in for the evening. Elliot was getting the fire going so they wouldn't freeze while they were sleeping. Olivia was getting Eli settled into bed.

"There is no TV Buddy," Elliot told him.

"What!" Calvin asked, shocked.

"Come here," Elliot led him over to the front door. He opened the door and pointed outside. "That is going to be your TV this week." Calvin looked at him strange. "Instead of sitting in front of the TV were going to be out there, we're gonna go fishing, remember we talked about a fishing trip a couple weeks ago? We're going to go hiking, there's a playground you can play on, and you have your friend Tyler here with you..."

"Can we go swimming?" Calvin interrupted.

"We did pack your swimsuit but I'm warning you, the water is going to be really cold."

That's ok," Calvin said shrugging his shoulders. "I can take it."

Elliot laughed at his overconfidence. "Come on, you can help me build the fire."

/

Monday morning after breakfast the group hiked along one of the trails to look at some of the waterfalls. Elliot and Mark spent the afternoon fishing with Dickie, Calvin and Tyler while Olivia and Teresa played on the playground with Lizzie and Eli. Lizzie built an impressive small village out of pine needles, twigs, rocks and anything else she could find. When they were done fishing Tyler and Calvin helped her add onto it while Dickie helped his father clean the fish. The kids played outside together until it got dark while their parents sat at the picnic table and talked and kept an eye on them.

By Tuesday afternoon they couldn't hold the kids off any longer so they let them go swimming. Elliot played in the sand with Eli and Olivia sat on the beach with Mark and Teresa while the kids swam and played under the waterfall. By the time they got out their lips were turning blue. Elliot got a fire going so they could warm up while Mark grilled dinner. Olivia was thrilled to see Calvin opening up to Tyler. She was concerned he would shy away but the two of them were starting to become inseparable.

On Wednesday they hiked the Gorge Trail to see Lucifer Falls. It was a bit of a rough journey but the 115 foot waterfall was worth it. Thursday was their last day in the park before they went home. They spent the day fishing, and playing on the playground and the beach. They let the kids go swimming that afternoon. Thursday evening they drove to Ithaca and treated the kids to pizza for dinner.

They arrived back in Manhattan early Friday afternoon so Elliot could have his kids back to their mother's house in Queens by dinnertime. Elliot and Olivia were tired and sore and ready to take a long hot shower and sleep in their own comfortable bed. Calvin was asleep on the couch, propped up against Olivia by 8:30 that night. After Elliot put him to bed, he and Olivia decided to turn in early that night as well.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

Calvin and Dickie's first baseball game was the last week of April. By the time Elliot had signed the boys up all the coaching spots were taken but he worked with them on hitting and catching the ball. Dickie was always a natural at sports. Elliot was sure he was going to follow in his footsteps and play high school ball. Calvin seemed to have a natural talent for baseball. Elliot knew he was nervous about his first game. He had never played any team sports before.

"I think I'll just watch this time," Calvin told Olivia when she tried to drop him off at the dugout.

"What? No Kiddo. You practiced with your team, you practiced with Dickie and Elliot. You're gonna do great!" Olivia tried to encourage him. "Elliot and I are going to be right there in the bleachers the whole time," she said pointing at Elliot. Elliot smiled and waved at him. "Tyler's here too. We're gonna watch you kick some butt out there today. Dickie will be down here with you, you just hang out with him. You're gonna do great Calvin."

Olivia leaned in to hug him before she went up to the bleachers to join Elliot and Tyler. Calvin didn't want to let go but Olivia finally convinced him to.

Dickie batted during the first inning. He got to second base, then the made it home after the next two kids batted. Calvin wasn't up to bat until the second inning. The crowd shouted words of encouragement like they did for all the other kids. Calvin struck out. He hung his head and went and sat in the far corner of the dugout. When he didn't go out to play in the outfield Elliot went down to check on him.

"He said he doesn't want to play anymore," the coach told him. "I tried to talk to him but he's pretty upset."

"I'll talk to him," Elliot said. He went and sat down next to Calvin.

"Please take me home Elliot," Calvin begged. "I don't want to be here anymore. I suck."

"You don't suck Kiddo. You were just nervous. That's all," Elliot said. "You actually did really good. You kept your elbow up and followed through. Next time I want you to keep your eye on the ball and stand farther away from the plate. You were a little too close."

"I don't want to do it again," Calvin whined.

Elliot put his arm around Calvin and squeezed his shoulder. "I'll tell you what, I want you to finish playing this game and after that if you still don't want to play, you don't have to. But, you have to finish playing this game, ok?"

Calvin thought for a minute. "You promise?"

"Have I ever lied to you?" Elliot asked. Calvin shook his head no. "Ok, what are you going to do next time you're up to bat?"

"Stand back from the plate and keep my eye on the ball," Calvin answered.

"That's right." Elliot patted him on the back before heading out of the dugout. "Will you give him another shot Coach?" Elliot asked.

"Definitely," the coach answered. "I'll put him right back in.

By the fourth inning Calvin was up to bat again. There was a kid on second base and a kid on third.

"Keep your eye on the ball!" Elliot reminded him from the bleachers. Calvin let the first ball go by without swinging. Elliot was squeezing Olivia's hand so tight she had to tell him to calm down. Calvin swung at the second ball and to everyone's amazement he hit it out of the park. He was so thrilled he almost forgot what to do. He was met at home plate by his team giving him high fives. Everyone in the bleachers was standing up clapping for him.

The rest of the game went well. Calvin was able to hit the ball and Dickie made a good catch that stopped the other team from scoring. Their team won by a four point lead. After the ball game Elliot and Olivia took the kids out for ice cream. Calvin was so excited about the game he had forgotten he wanted to quit.

/

After the ball game they dropped Tyler off at his house. Olivia was in her bedroom taking a nap and Eli was in his bedroom taking a nap. Lizzie was working on her homework and Elliot was watching TV with Dickie and Calvin. Calvin got up out of the recliner and moved over next to Elliot on the couch. Elliot put his arm around him and kissed his head.

"Elliot?" Calvin said. "Will you take me to see my Mom?"

Elliot looked at Calvin slightly worried for a moment before he remembered taking him to the cemetery. "You want to go to the cemetery?" Elliot asked.

Calvin nodded his head. "I wanna tell her about the game today." Calvin started fidgeting. "Is that dumb?" he asked quietly.

"No Calvin," Elliot said. "That's not dumb at all. I think it's a great idea."

Elliot checked on Eli to make sure he was still sleeping then told the twins he was running out for a little while. He told them to wake Olivia up if they had any problems. He grabbed his cell phone and clipped it to his shorts and grabbed his car keys and left with Calvin.

Elliot waited, leaned up against the car while he watched Calvin sit in front of his mother's grave. After Calvin talked to his mother for a little while he walked back over to Elliot. He wrapped his arms around Elliot. Elliot picked Calvin up and hugged him back. Calvin was a little old to be picked up but he hadn't had his growth spurt yet so Elliot could comfortably pick him up.

"Do you think Mom can hear me?" Calvin asked.

"I think Mom is looking down on you and smiling Kiddo," Elliot said. "I bet she's real proud of you."

"I miss her," Calvin said.

Elliot hugged Calvin tighter. "I know."

"But I'm glad I live with you and Olivia now."

"Me too," Elliot said. He put Calvin down and knelt in front of him. "I love you Calvin."

Calvin smiled. "I love you too Elliot."

* * *

By the middle of May Elliot and Olivia had noticed a big change in Calvin from when he had first come to live with them. He had made friends with nearly everyone on his baseball team. He and Tyler were always together and sometimes got into trouble at school for acting up. Calvin was getting all A's in school. He hadn't had any panic attacks, or visions of his mother in several weeks. Though Calvin was still very close to Elliot and Olivia he was becoming more independent. He was a happy, well-adjusted kid.

/

One Friday night when Elliot and Olivia were packing up and getting ready to go pick Calvin up from Tyler's house Cragen called them into his office.

"Perp who killed Calvin's Mom is dead," he said.

"What?" Olivia asked. She couldn't hide the smile on her face.

"He was in the middle of some big gang fight this morning and got stabbed by another inmate who apparently decided to turn his toothbrush into a weapon. He's gone."

"It'll save us taxpayers some money," Elliot said.

"Just thought you guys would like to know," Cragen said.

"Thanks Captain," Olivia said.

Elliot and Olivia contemplated telling Calvin. They discussed the possible negatives and positives on their way to pick him up and decided they would tell him.

"What movie are we watching tonight?" Calvin asked as he bounced around the kitchen. They had just finished eating and Olivia was washing the dishes while Elliot dried them. They usually stayed up late together and watched a movie on Friday nights.

"I don't know Buddy," Elliot said. "Why don't you help me put these dishes away?" Calvin scrunched up his face but didn't object.

"Elliot and I need to talk to you before we pick a movie Calvin," Olivia said as she handed the last dish to Elliot.

Calvin stopped what he was doing and looked at Olivia. "Why? Am I in trouble?"

Olivia smiled. "I don't know, are you?" she teased. She could see Calvin's mind spinning, trying to remember if he had done anything to provoke this conversation. "No Honey, you're not in trouble, we just have something to tell you."

After they got the dishes put away they took Calvin out to the living room.

"Remember the guy that killed your Mom?" Olivia asked. Calvin nodded his head. "He died today."

"But I thought he was in jail," Calvin said.

"Well, he was in jail," Olivia told him. "That's where he died."

"But they said he had to live there a long time," Calvin said, obviously confused.

"Calvin, jails are filled with lots of bad people," Elliot said. "This morning some of them got into a fight and they killed the guy who killed your mother."

"People can die in jail?" Calvin asked.

Elliot and Olivia were reminded of Calvin's innocence by his questions. "It happens all the time," Elliot said.

"Wow. I never wanna go to jail," Calvin said.

Both Elliot and Olivia laughed. "I'm glad to hear that!" Olivia said.

"The bad guy isn't gonna come get me anymore?" Calvin asked.

"Never again," Elliot answered.

**The End**


End file.
